Moments

I think a lot about living in "the moment", about experiencing life while I am in it. I feel like moments are a bit overwhelming at the moment!

I was definitely in "the moment" when my son woke me in the middle of the night and I opened my eyes to my baby, covered head to toe in blood, saying "Mama, I did something bad and we are hurt." I was in the moment for many hours after that for helicopter rides and ambulances and doctors and emergency rooms, for lots of desperate prayers and for the comfort of great friends and family.

I was in the moment when I had both children's birthdays fall in the same week when I was too broke to buy presents or have parties (see above!).

I was in the moment constantly over these last two weeks as my knee blew up and became the focus of my life, much to my dismay, with no easy option for healing in sight.

I was in the moment on Saturday when I spent a wonderful day on the air and enjoying a great local fundraiser with some of my favorite people in the world, while my sweet Annie was at dance competition with great friends who took care of her while I couldn't. I was definitely in the moment when Annie called to say that she and McKenna had won 1st place for their duo and won a special judges award to boot!

I was in the moment when I spent a few hours on Saturday night relaxing and laughing with Scotty.

And I was in the moment when I woke up worrying once again at 3:00 a.m. worrying about how to make it all work this week, how to pay for everything that needs paying for, be where I'm supposed to be and not let anybody down.

And then I was in the moment when I read my friend Joshua's post on facebook. Joshua is battleing luekemia. His hope for survival is a bone marrow transplant, but there was no match. Miraculously, a match was found, one in 12 million chances, thru Be The Match. Joshua has been thru hell and back to get ready for the transplant and traveled back to NIH yesterday to get ready for the transplant. He got the news today that his donor has backed out and his transplant has been cancelled. Right now I am living in his moment. I can't imagine how he is feeling. I am devastated for him.

I don't really have any eloquent words to express about that moment. I don't understand, there is no one to explain. I don't really know even how to end my post. The moments will continue, time marches on, another moment will come on the heels of every other moment. I pray for Joshua's next moment to be so much better.